Morning, Ms Journal

A few thoughts to share with you this morning.

Church was fabulous on Sunday. Although I sat and stared numbly at the choir throughout most of the service, I did take one point home with me. It resonates still in me today.

This is the beginning of the season of Advent. This is the time of the year when Christians prepare themselves for the arrival of Jesus. The days are shorter. The nights, longer. And the air has turned remarkably colder. Reverend Linda told us how Jesus offers us Hope. He is the Light and the Hope that comes to us even as we wait in the cold and dark. Her words were like a warm blanket for my soul.

Meagan was here yesterday. Her stepsister delivered her to me just before dinner time. We had a really comfortable visit. She's changed her hair again, bleached her beautiful hair, Ms J, and cut it. It's much shorter now, and white. I like it, and I told her so. She was quite loquacious and I asked lots of questions about Life at home.

Dan is "couch surfing". He's currently staying with a friend in Georgetown. He's safe. Healthy. Apparently happy. And not breaking any laws.

David has gained two pounds since he came home. He's a joyous little boy, smiling at the slightest provocation. Kelly has moved her bedroom upstairs to be close to David's nursery. She's accepted responsibility for the care of her grandson.

Tim has a job.

Meagan is doing well in school. She's popular and enjoying her first year of high school. She showed me her report card and her grades were in the 80's and 90's. I hugged her and told her how proud I am of her!

I told her briefly about my troubles at work later, and asked for her understanding. Christmas won't be too spectacular this year, I told her. She understood completely. I asked her not to share my troubles with her mum. Kelly has enough to worry about without my contribution.

Meagan and I were together for six hours and we talked nearly continuously! She didn't care to watch television and spent only a few minutes on the internet. It felt good that she wanted to be with me. We talked about lots of things, Ms J.

She searched her jacket pocket and produced three or four condoms. My eyes widened and I swallowed hard.

"I got these from school, Dad. The teacher had this, like, wooden penis eh? She called it 'Woody' and she asked if anyone would come up and show the class how to put a condom on Woody. Me and Rachel raised our hands. We went up to the front and we got it right first time!"

Er, yes. First time, eh? Good for you, Scout.

"Yeah, Dad. You have to check it for rips and punctures first. And if you even suspect something's wrong, you throw it away and get a new one."

She handed me three little packets.

"Check it out, Dad. Flavours! Vanilla, strawberry, and banana."

My word, Ms J. In my day, there was only one flavour - Rubber.

"Meagan, have you ever ...?"

"DAD! I'm fourteen for God's sake! I'm not ready for that sh .. I'm not ready for that stuff yet."

My daughter has spent her entire Life thus far, trusting her father. Now it's time for me to trust her. I really have no choice, have I?


She's my light and my hope in the cold and dark of worry. She won't disappoint me.

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