In the Bin

Hello, Ms J. I mentioned a couple of days ago that Dan had left some pornography here when he rushed to escape this "hell" and his "evil father." Those were Dan's words, remember? He left them on his white board in his pig sty - er, I mean bedroom. My son had decided he could no longer bear my oppressive tyranny because I don't allow drugs here. And I cannot countenance disrespect. So he fled to the safety of his mother's house. No challenge there, Ms J. Kelly gives the boy carte blanche to behave as he likes.

For a while after he disappeared, I dealt with things he'd left in his wake: Ubiquitous cat hair. Cat litter strewn about the cellar floor. Long hair clogging the shower drain. Cigarette butts in the garden. And a bedroom that was so filthy, it was scarcely habitable. I could not bear to look in there, so I simply closed the door and left it.

About a month ago, a neighbour offered to clean my house for me. For free. Patty is really nice. She helped me get ready for a house warming/Christmas party when I first moved in here in December 2003. She's a nurse at St. Joe's hospital. Patty cleans houses to earn extra money. When she was here the last time, I spoke to her about Dan's bedroom.

"Just leave that room, Patty. Don't even go in there," I warned her. "There's no telling what horrible disease you might catch."

But Patty laughed off my warning and called to me down the stairs.

"Oh, don't worry about it, Dale. I've seen worse than that. I'll tidy up in there for you."

So she vacuumed and dusted and generally put things in order. She gathered up all the debris and detritus that remained as evidence of a Life poorly-lived; it filled two green garbage bags. Think of it, Ms J! I still shake my head in disbelief.

A few days ago, I had some ladies from the church here for a meeting. As they hadn't been here before, I offered to show them around my home. It's a small house, Ms J. It didn't take long. Upstairs, I proudly showed them my bedroom with its new (old) chest of drawers. Then we went and peeked in Dan's room. I had no concerns about showing the room. I knew it was clean and tidy. I spotted a cardboard box at the foot of the bed and when I noticed what was sitting atop it, I quickly ushered the women out of there and back downstairs.

On top of the box, in full view of anyone who cared to look, was a stack of porno magazines and two pornographic videos. Hardcore stuff, Ms J. Very hardcore. The title of the video on the top was clearly visible in great, bold red letters. "ANAL TEEN SLUTS"

Patty must have discovered The Boy's stash when she tidied up in there. I suppose she didn't quite know what to do with it and she was probably too uncomfortable to ask. So she left it where she thought I might find it. I tell you truly, Ms Journal. I was mortified! I'm not sure if any of the ladies noticed it, although I doubt they would have mentioned it if they had.

Since that day, I've left the pile of filth there while I pondered its disposition. It doesn't belong to me. Do I have the right, then to dispose of it? Perhaps not. But it's in my home and I do not want that stuff here. I considered calling Dan and asking him what he thinks I should do with it. But that would only embarrass him. I decided that if it were that important to him, he would have taken it when he left. This is my home, Ms J. My refuge. My sanctuary. And I do not want that kind of material here.

I stuffed it all in a bag. On Friday, it'll go to the dump with the rest of the rubbish. Too bad, Dan.

Oh, and thanks for drinking my vodka and then filling the bottle again with water. Did you think I wouldn't notice? You have offended me, son. Again.