Feeling Bored Lately

I know, Ms J. I've been as busy as a bee lately. How can I feel bored? I feel bored with work. And stressed. Can you feel both at the same time? Maybe it's not bored I'm feeling. Maybe I'm just uncomfortable. Unhappy. It's the same routine every day on the job, although I'm OK with that. I rather enjoy that part -- Quiet time alone on the empty train to Hamilton. Coffee and a muffin (no bagel yet) in the coffee shop there. The girls behind the counter - Jenn and Michelle. They're always nice.

So what's the problem, then?

I don't know, Ms J. Let me type away here until I get it sorted out. OK?

Ever since I told the guys that I had given up bread for Lent, they tease me every day about it. They find some way to mention it every morning. Now that they know I'm a Christian, they ask stupid questions to test me.

"No bagel today, eh Dale? Is it still Lent? How many more days til you can have a "Dale"?

They've given my breakfast bagel a name, Ms J. "The Dale."

I wish they'd just shut up about it. I wish they'd just ignore me like they did before I told them about Lent, and about me going to church.

"So when you yelled at John last week, did you curse?"

Yes. I cursed.

"Did you curse when you fell down the stairs and broke your leg?"

Yes. I cursed then, too.

"Do you curse when somebody pisses you off?"

Yes. I sometimes do on occasion. So fuck off now and leave me alone.

I'm tired of that routine, Ms J. And I'm tired of listening to the same crap every day.

"So and so's in trouble. He got caught going home early."
"I saw a supervisor hiding by the wall yesterday trying to nail somebody for not wearing safety glasses."
"I heard the company was trying to screw us out of our pensions."
"They're in bed with the union."

BLAH, BLAH, freaking BLAH.

I don't care. Well, actually, I do care. I care so much in fact, that I let it affect me and then I get anxious and scared and angry. It spoils the quality of my day, Ms Journal, as evidenced by the angry post I put here yesterday. I don't want to listen to all the fear and negativity. I'm sick of it. I want something happy. I want something that'll make me smile.

---

I phoned Meagan just now. I'm going to pick her up tomorrow at noon.

***