Drama King?

You know, Ms J, I spend a lot of time criticizing Kelly for her excessive displays of emotion - her "drama" as I call it. Kelly, the drama queen. But maybe it's time I took a look in the mirror. While one finger points at my ex wife, three more are aimed at me.

Daniel, my son and Maxine, his pregnant girlfriend have frequently occupied my thoughts lately. I've written volumes about them and their sorry predicament. I've lain awake nights worrying about them. And I've talked about them incessantly with friends. Could it be that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill?

I know, the situation is far from ideal. The boy hasn't shown much inclination toward living responsibly lately. And the girl is ... well, a girl. But I took Washlady's advice yesterday and tried instead to simply listen. I tried to be compassionate rather than critical. Here's what I've discovered:

Maxine is not the sharpest tool in the shed, that's true. But her innocence is rather endearing. She's seventeen years old, but sometimes her ideas about things show her intellectual level around eleven or twelve. It's not exactly perfect for a role as mother, but I think Maxine is capable of love. And perhaps that's enough.

And as for my delinquent son, Dan showed me something I hadn't seen in him for many years. He was respectful of Maxine. He was polite and perhaps most surprisingly, given his history of violence and anger, Dan was patient with her. Tender. Gentle. He treated her as though she were the most precious treasure on earth. That, Ms Journal, more than anything else, gives me hope.

Dan had ample opportunity to abuse alcohol in Mt. Forest yesterday. There was wine. There was beer. And there was hard liquor too. But he behaved himself. He showed restraint and self-control. He had a bottle of beer before dinner, and a glass of wine with his meal. I believe he enjoyed another beer in the evening. Clearly, this was not the same young man who couldn't wait to get high when he came to live with me last February.

He told me he's been working forty hours per week at the drug store. Kelly says he pays his rent on time. His hair was shiny clean and his skin looked healthy. I believe he's lost much of the premature pot belly he had some months ago. His smile was warm and sincere. His blue eyes were clear.

In front of his mother's new home in Norval last night, he offered his arm to Maxine and she looped her arm through his.

"Careful on the ice here, Maxine," he said. "Hold on tight to my arm."

They began to move together then, toward the wooden steps leading to Kelly's front door and I watched their backs as they went. After a few cautious steps, Dan stopped and turned back to face me.

"Bye, Dad. And thanks for this. Thanks for inviting Maxine."

I nodded my head and smiled.

"You're welcome, Dan."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, son."

They turned again to go and the boy lifted his face to the naked branches above us.

" ...and I always will."

"I will always love you too, Daniel."

I watched their backs until the door closed behind them.


Pride. I can't remember the last time he looked that way.

My son has a long and difficult road ahead, Ms J. This I know. But maybe, just maybe, things will be alright.

***