A Cure For Blind Rage

Well, I'm not cured, Ms J. I'm still angry. I'm still appalled, quite frankly, by Kelly's disreputable lifestyle and its pernicious effect on my kids. But I drove to Norval straight away after church yesterday and met with Dan and Meagan and I do feel a bit easier.

Rev. Linda's sermon was based on the story of a blind beggar and how Jesus had restored his sight. "Your faith has made you well," said Jesus. And that's about all I can remember about it.

I went to church on Sunday, but I really didn't participate in the service. I didn't join in the hymns or open a hymn book. I didn't participate in the unison reading or recite the United Church creed. I don't recall hearing the choir's anthem and I can't even remember if we said the Lord's prayer, but I'm sure we did.

I just wasn't there.

"I didn't get much out of it this week," I lamented as I snatched my coat and hat from the rack in the narthex and hurried down the concrete steps toward Mimico Avenue. "I don't know why I bothered going. I wish Kelly would go to church. She's such a ..."

I couldn't come up with the right curse.

But as I scurried toward my car on Station Road, I was aware of a song in my head. It was a hymn. We'd sung it that morning.

"Open my eyes that I may see
Glimpses of Truth Thou hast for me.
Place in my hand the wonderful key
That shall unclasp and set me free."

That's all I could recall and it kept going round in my head.

I looked up and the sun was shining on the autumn colours. The clouds were racing across the sky and the wind shook the trees vigorously, commanding them to discard their bright frocks.

"Open my eyes that I may see ..."

I decided then to drive to Norval, apologise to Kelly, and express my concern about David. So I did.

Dan and Maxine were there. Meagan too. And Dan's friend, Tony.

"Hi guys!" I said when they opened the door. "Can I come in?"

I heard an account of the events that lead to the police and Children's Aid arriving to take the baby. It began with an argument between Dan and his mother and escalated until everyone was screaming and making threats.

"Meagan was really the only rational one, Dad. She tried to calm everyone down. I called Scott on the phone and Tim unplugged it. That's when I really went nuts. And Tim called the cops."

I wondered where Kelly was.

"Now, ya mean? She's in bed."

I glanced at my watch. It was nearly 1:00. I raised my eyebrows.

"She was drunk last night, eh? Pissed drunk. The neighbour brought her home at 4:00 a.m. She'd just finished puking on their couch."

Sigh ....

So I didn't apologise to Kelly, Ms J. I didn't have to. Well, I couldn't, could I? Was I disappointed? Nope.

I told the kids I love them and implored Dan again not to let Mum push his buttons.

"She pushes yours, doesn't she, Dad? Still."

I had to concede his point.

Meagan wants to see my play next weekend. And David's coming home on Thursday. No police, Dan says. No courts.

"I'm gettin' my boy back on Thursday, Dad. We'll be a family again."

Well thank God for that. All is well, Ms J, ... until next time.

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