The Best Kind of Fun, Ms J ...

... on either side of the border.

Well, we had a good day, Meagan and I. T'was a brilliant day, actually. We left home about 2:00 and drove to Niagara Falls, Ontario. There we planned to cross the Rainbow Bridge which spans the mighty Niagara River between Canada and the U.S. As we'd done on previous trips, we stopped first at a tourist information centre on this side of the border. We exchanged our Canadian money for some funny-looking American stuff and then asked directions to The Boulevard Mall in Amherst, New York.

"Are you sure you want to go over there today?" asked the woman behind the counter. "There's been a massive winter storm there and the electricity is out. The police are asking people to stay off the roads in Amherst. I phoned the mall a few hours ago and they were still closed and without power. The news reports say 300,000 people are still without electricity."

Meagan and I looked at each other and frowned. How could this be, we wondered. We were only 50 km from Amherst. The weather in Niagara Falls was sunny and 8C. The roads were bare and dry. Scout held up a fist full of Yankee dollars.

"But we wanted to go to Hot Topic. It's like, the coolest store ever. We already changed our money and everything."

The woman suggested we try shopping in Buffalo instead.

"Why don't you drive to Ft. Erie and cross the border there? It's not as bad there as it is in Amherst," she said.

"Do they have Hot Topic there?" asked Meagan, waving her money hopefully.

The lady smiled. Her eyes were big and brown and gorgeous.

"They sure do. It's at The Walden Galleria. That's a shopping mall like The Boulevard Mall, only bigger."

She gave us a sheet of paper with directions and off we went. Meagan was relieved. So was I, Ms J. In half an hour or so, we were in the mall.

We found Hot Topic and this time, Meagan got something worthwhile. She bought a pair of tight, black, pin striped pants with narrow legs, and two t-shirts -- one for her and one for her brother.

"He hardly ever gets anything, Dad. And last weekend, you got Maxine a bra and David a play centre, but Dan got nothing. Let's get a shirt for him. He'd love this one."

She held up a black shirt with a demon on it and the word "Skinless".

"It's a metal band, Dad. They're called Skinless. Dan loves their music."

We shopped next at a place called JC Penny's. It's a department store, Ms J, like Zeller's or The Bay. Or Wal-Mart I guess. They had some lovely shirts there for $35.

"Buy one at the regular price, get the second for 88 cents."

I shook my head in amazement. What a deal! But I knew we weren't allowed to buy much in the states due to the brief time we'd spent there, so I bought a pair of red silk boxer shorts for Scottie to wear on stage (his pants fall down a couple of times, Ms Journal) and after visiting the restroom to put them on under my pants, we left to have dinner and come home. Meagan wore her new pants under her old blue jeans.

The man at Canada Customs grilled us at first.

"Citizenship?"

"Canadian," we said.

"Where do you live?"

"We both live in Toronto, sir."

"How long were you in the states?"

"Just a few hours."

"Anything to declare?"

"Well, my daughter bought a couple of t-shirts ..."

"Open the trunk, please."

He peered into the trunk and shone a flashlight into the back seat and into Meagan's face. Then he asked for some identification.

"What do you do for a living?" he asked as we searched our wallets for birth certificates.

"I work for CN in Toronto, sir. I'm a locomotive engineer."

Well, that changed everything, Ms J. Turns out the guy was a railroad buff. He loved trains. He stood and chatted with us for fifteen minutes while traffic waited behind us. What a nice man!

"Holy cow," he said at last. "I'd better let you guys go. Safe trip home, eh."

We both smiled with relief for a while after we got back on Canadian soil. Meagan's contraband went undetected.

---

At home tonight, I asked Meagan if she'd cut my hair.

"I need it REALLY short this time, Scout. It's for the play."

"Can I shave you bald, Dad?" she asked. She always asks that question, Ms J. And I always tell her no. But not this time. This time, I surprised her.

"Yeah. Shave me right bald, girl. Use my razor and take ALL the hair off. Scottie needs to be bald under his wig."


So I went from this ...


... to this.


And finally, to this.

"Oh my gosh, Dad!" said Meagan. "Without your moustache and with no hair at all, you look like a different person entirely. And I hope you grow your moustache back after the play. Your mouth looks exactly like Grandad's!"


She's right, you know. And that's not such a bad thing, is it?

***