Connections

There is something in the world that is larger than me. And I am connected to it.

A friend was here today. Carolyn. She attends my church. Carolyn's really nice. And she reads this blog. (Hi Carolyn!) We had some lunch together (Turkey sandwiches, Ms J. What else?) and then she sat with me and read the whole play. It was very helpful, very helpful indeed. She offered a bit of insight into Scottie's character and laughed at my silly jokes. It was a really enjoyable couple of hours. It was raining so I dropped her off at home and as I drove back to my place, I considered again the value of friends. And I thanked God for bringing this delightfully uplifting person into my Life. Connections.

I went to the church yesterday to do a few odd jobs. When I was done, I popped in to visit Deb, our student minister. Although I hadn't planned on it, I found myself talking openly with her about my concerns about Nick.

"He's very angry," I told her. "He admits he shouldn't be driving. I'm afraid he'll suffer a bout of rage while behind the wheel and hurt himself. Or someone else. Someone innocent. He needs a friend so badly, Deb, but I just don't know what to do anymore."

She listened compassionately and her brown eyes never left mine.

"Sometimes," she said, "there is nothing more to do but give it to God. If you try to hold onto your drowning friend, he may pull you down too."

She handed me a tissue to wipe my eyes.

"He may have to sink to the bottom before he'll consider getting help, real help, the professional kind. Maybe by trying to help him, you're only delaying this process."

I discovered a kinship with this woman who only came to our church a month ago. And I left there with a much lighter heart. Connections.

Tonight found me at church again. There was a meeting there called a "Listening Circle." The United Church of Canada officially sanctions gay and lesbian marriage. However the church leaves the final decision on the matter to individual congregations. Each church must choose whether or not their minister will perform such ceremonies. The Listening Circle was very effective and for me, quite moving.

I joined twenty other people seated in chairs in a circle. There was a smooth stone about the size of a fist and we each took turns holding it. Only the person who held the stone was allowed to speak. That person was encouraged to speak his heart on the issue of gay marriage at our church. The others were asked to listen without judgement, to be open-minded and to consider the possibility that their own viewpoint might be wrong.

It was a beautiful thing to behold.

Each person voiced his or her thoughts, using personal pronouns and refraining from lecture or debate. All the others were silent. As we went round, each person passing the stone to the next, we heard some differing ideas. All were heard. All were valued. What a powerful feeling it was to hold the stone and to be aware that twenty people were waiting silently and patiently while I formulated my thoughts!

The meeting lasted about an hour, I guess and we closed by joining hands and reciting the Lord's Prayer together. I could actually feel the energy being passed from one hand to the next. It was a powerful feeling, Ms J, and my tears fell silently to the carpet. Twenty-one connections.

A few minutes ago, Allan came to me.

"Dale, I just want you to know how much I appreciate you letting me stay here. Thanks for staying up late last night and listening to me. I know you must have been tired this morning. I'm going to be alright, aren't I? It's not that bad, is it?"

And he smiled, Ms J. Allan smiled a broad, genuine smile. It was the first I'd seen in the past two weeks. And I smiled back.

There is something in the world that is larger than me, Ms J.

And I am connected to it.

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