A Letter To Joseph

Merry Christmas Joseph!

This is my very first letter to you, and I'm glad to do that now because, honestly, except at this time of year, I don't often think of you. I hardly ever think of you on the day in June we observe as Father's Day. Joseph, you're so silent and almost invisible in the story of Jesus and in my thoughts about fatherhood, and yet I'm turning to you now. I want to propose that one of the days in Advent should be Fathers Day in honour of your part in the Christ story. And I want to say thank you for what you did, as a husband and a father and a faithful believer.

Sometimes, Joseph, in our modern world, being men and being fathers brings some negative stuff, and sadly, with good reason. Some of us have not been very good at living out our male roles, but many men have done their best, wanting to make a difference to those they love. And we need good examples. We need to know good dads. We need to affirm the good father roles, because our society and our media will always point out the bad. We need to rediscover who you are, Joseph.

I understand that your work was that of a carpenter or a labourer and that must mean you have good hands and strong muscles and back. You're probably good at carrying things, heavy things. But my oh my, you sure had to carry unusual responsibilities as Mary's husband and Jesus' dad. Were you scared out of your wits, or uneasy, or even anguished? No wonder you didn't sleep well. You had to carry the burden of change as you were called by God to join with Mary in being part of this amazing story. Probably, you had to change your way of thinking about fathering and sexuality, about where you lived and your heritage, about dreams and angels, about safety. Sometimes that happens for me, too.

You have a reputation for being a man who made "right" decisions. Apparently, you come from a good family. (Did you know about genetics back then?) I can only guess that God saw those good assets in your spirit and sent you the dreams of angels to guide you. You must have been a deeply spiritual man, ready and willing to hear those messages so convincingly.

You had to be open and ready to change your mind and your plans when one thing after another shook your world - your strange engagement to Mary, the birth of Jesus, the unknown visitors, the threat of danger, and the sudden flight to another country. Joseph, you had to be prepared to live as a refugee, keeping a healthy fear of those who would harm your family.

And whether or not God intended you to be the birth-father of Jesus, you were the man Jesus called Dad, you were the man who hurried mother and child to safety, you were the man who provided for them in that other land and guided them home again. You were the man who taught Jesus to carry burdens, to have compassion for women and children, to live an unsettled, transient Life, and to use His hands for good purposes.

Isn't that good enough for a Fathers Day?

Joseph, Life today for fathers and mothers still brings so many changes and, as much as we know in our theories and in our heads, there is still awesome mystery and joy to being a dad or a mum. I still remember that incredible, awesome feeling when my son was born, and yes, that certainly changed many things.

Sometimes I easily accept change and the swirl of events beyond my control, but other times I resist; I need convincing of what is right or faithful. How often have I listened, really listened with open senses to new enlightenment? How many times have I felt pulled, or pushed, or forced into something without that sense of what was right, without a sense of faith? Apparently, it's true for other men today. Women too.

This is a busy world, Joseph. Many fathers, many dads get caught up in their work, their own activities, their own visions and needs. Some men struggle with the notion of family as first priority. Can you still help us today? Can you encourage us in our spirituality to become aware of our need for understanding of family needs, of compassion, patience, and acceptance? There are men and fathers today who do that so well, but we hear more about the ones who don't. Can you teach us about dreams and angels or enlightenment on this new Fathers Day?

You see, Joseph, I believe that Jesus learned a lot about prayer and faith from Mary, His mother. Her acceptance and prayer to the Angel of God - "Let it be to me, according to your will" - must have influenced Jesus' prayer on a later, dark night. "Not my will, but Your will be done." But Joseph, you must also have shown Him faith and prayer, as quiet as you were, because when He taught His friends to pray, he addressed God, not really as Father, but as "Abba" ... Dad, a word of greater affection and deeper intimacy. Through you, Joseph, Jesus learned that having a loving, compassionate, ready-to-act father, God was a good thing. Through you, we see that openness to change is a lifestyle of enlightenment and spirituality. Through you, we carry our faith into our homes and our families as well as into our world.

Thank you, Joseph.

Merry Christmas. And Happy Fathers Day!

Bill Corkum, Sturgeon Creek Pastoral Charge
Winnipeg, Manitoba
2004

Best Christmas since 2003!!

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