What's next with Dan? This.

I "graduated" from physiotherapy this morning. I've waited a long time and worked hard toward this day, but when Barbara announced this would be my final visit, I felt a little sad. That clinic and those girls - Barbara and Sabina - had become a part of my Life, and although I'm pleased that I no longer require their care, I'm a little sorry that I won't see them anymore. I gave them a thank you card with a gift inside for each of them. I'll miss their sunny dispositions and their warm, encouraging smiles.

Thank you both! So much. I was crippled. Now I'm healed. It's nothing short of a miracle!

---

At home later, I was sitting at the dining room table, feeling my feelings, and gazing into the back garden. A young robin had found a juicy worm and I smiled as I watched him struggle to pull it free of the soil.

The phone rang and disturbed my reverie.

"Hi Dale. It's me. Have you got a minute?"

It was Kelly. She was using that breathy voice she uses when she has something grave to impart. I turned toward the window and looked again at the robin. This time, I felt no joy.

"Yeah OK, Kelly. What's up?"

She began with a frustratingly circuitous preamble about the merits of "co-parenting" and the importance of showing the kids a united front. Blah, blah, blah.

I interrupted her to ask, "Is this about Daniel, Kelly? Or Scout?"

"Daniel," she said in her breathy way. "Promise me you won't freak out when I tell you."

I sought again the comfort of the garden, but the robin had finished his lunch and flown away. I took a deep, slow breath to centre myself.

"I won't freak out, Kelly. I promise."

Kelly remembers the old Dale - the angry, violent, frightened Dale. That Dale doesn't live here anymore. I waited while my ex-wife organized her thoughts. After a long time, she spoke.

"You're going to be a grandfather, Dale. I'm going to be a grandmother. Maxine is pregnant. Dan's the father."

Emotions swirled all through me. Anger. Disappointment. Fear. Sorrow. I managed but two syllables in response to Kelly's disturbing news.

"OK."

It sounded silly so I said it again. Slower this time.

"Oooh Kaaay."

It still sounded stupid, so I followed that with an acquiescent "Alright."

I may have appeared calm, but my mind was racing. A baby? Dan? Where will they live? How will they get by? Dan has no job. No education. No job skills. Maxine is mentally challenged. That's what they call it nowadays. Mentally challenged, my arse. The girl is retarded. How will she care for a child? She can't even carry a conversation. And Dan. How could he BE so irresponsible? Irresponsible. Legally, the word means "not mentally or financially fit to assume responsibility." That's an accurate description of my son, Ms J. And his seventeen-year-old girlfriend. Her parents won't help. Maxine's mum is a hardcore alcoholic. And she doesn't know where (or who?) her dad is.

I quieted my thoughts while Kelly prattled on.

"... and I'll be the one who looks after the baby. I'll be the only one who knows what to do with a brand new baby. I've already been down that road. Three times. It doesn't matter to me if I have to do it again. They have no clue what the hell they're doing, Dale. I'll let them try caring for the baby for a few days and as soon as I see that they're not being responsible, I'll take that child and move away. Dan and Maxine will never see that kid again. And I mean it."

I closed my eyes and slowly shook my head. What a load of self-indulgent crap! The child is not even born yet, and already Kelly has appointed herself chief guardian. She's already rehearsing her role as caregiver. And martyr.

"What about abortion, Kelly? Is Maxine open to that possibility?"

"No. I already asked her about it, but she says she's Catholic. She's a strong Catholic."

It's ironic, Ms Journal. Isn't it? Maxine is too Catholic to submit to an abortion, but apparently not Catholic enough to abstain from pre-marital sex. If she weren't mentally handicapped, I'd declare the hypocrisy of it laughable.

"What about adoption?" I asked. "Have they thought about that?"

"Well," Kelly began, "I suggested that, but they say they want to have the child and raise it together. They'll probably end up living here with me. I'm the one who'll end up raising that child."

Could be, I thought. 'Cause they sure as hell won't be living here. I hope you're proud of yourself, Kelly. It was you who first brought the two of them together. I didn't say it, Ms J. I just thought it. I had other thoughts too. Horrible thoughts. Thoughts I'm too ashamed of to share.

The conversation ended politely with me thanking Kelly for not trying to hide this from me. She thanked me in turn, for taking it so well. In Truth, I'd been half-expecting this phone call. A part of me knew this might happen.

I spoke with my minister from church this afternoon. Linda offered compassion, understanding, and this admonishment:

"Don't take on this responsibility, Dale. This is not your show. Let Dan and Maxine take centre stage here. You don't have to support what's happened, but don't condemn them either. Mistakes happen. This is not the first teenager who's ever gotten pregnant. It might be a good idea to suggest to Kelly that Maxine get some sort of counseling. Dan too. They'll need to be prepared for the shock of reality they'll witness after the baby's born. Neither you nor Kelly can offer effective counseling. You're too close to the situation. Too emotional. And Maxine should be seeing a doctor regularly."

I think that's good, sound advice. All of it.

But you know what makes this tragedy - this situation even more regrettable, Ms J? A woman I know of longs to have a child. I'm certain she and her husband would be good parents. They're in their early thirty's, employed, settled in a house. They have so much to offer a child, yet my friend remains childless. And she hurts. She despairs of ever having a child of her own. Yet in an unfathomable twist of fate, one that only God Herself can understand, the seed of Life has been sown in the belly of a teenage girl who has nothing to offer a child, but Love. Let us pray that John Lennon was right in his declaration that "All You Need Is Love."

And let us pray also for patience, understanding and acceptance that God has a grand plan for my childless friends. Together, let us gather all our cares, and place them confidently in His hands.

***