One of these days, Norton ...

Pow! To the moon!

That's what television comedian Jackie Gleason used to say to his friend, Ed Norton when he was angry with him. And that's what I'd like to say to the brainless fuckwits at Symantec.

I use Norton Anti-virus software. I've used it for years without much complaint. A year ago, I borrowed a copy of Norton SystemWorks from a guy at work and installed it. Recently, I was informed that my subscription needed renewing in order to stay abreast of the latest viruses, etc. So I visited Symantec's website and bought a renewal. $32.

After trying for two days, I'm still unable to entice the program to accept my new eleven digit subscription key. I spent nearly an hour on the phone this afternoon with a series of tech support people whose English is so poor, I could barely understand them. I became quite flustered.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about, sir," I said finally to one. "Is there anyone there who can speak English?"

"Please hold sir."

And I waited. And waited. Played a game of solitaire. And waited some more.

Finally, "Hello. This is Mohammad speaking. How am I helping you?"

Lovely, thought I. Just bloody lovely. I've called an office in India. Or Brampton. I took a deep breath and began my story again.

And when I had finished, he said, "Can you spell your e-mail address?"

I knew he was going to say that, Ms J. I just knew it. It was the same stupid question that I had answered already at least four times. I rhymed off my address.

"Vhat is your country, sir?"

"Canada," I said as if it might somehow make a difference. I could not see, for the Life of me, how repeating my information would help me install this sodding subscription key - this $32 subscription key.

"Vhat city, please?"

"Toronto."

I was starting to come unravelled. I just wanted to renew my anti-virus subscription. Why must it be so difficult?

"Can you spell, please?"

"T - O - R - O - N - T - O."

"P? O? R? ..."

"No. 'T' as in ... ummm tea." I was losing it. And quickly. "'T' for God's sake, man. Toronto. It's only the biggest f ..., the biggest city in the whole fu ..."
I was rapidly becoming incoherant. I couldn't even form a sentence without cursing. I stopped for a moment and really focused on my breathing. I needed to calm myself.

"Torumpo?"

And this man wasn't helping things.

"OK," I said finally. "This is bullshit. I just wanted some help with my subscription renewal but all you people know how to do, is ask stupid and unnecessary questions. I have neither the stomach nor the patience for this horseshit today. Maybe I'll try tomorrow. Maybe I won't. Maybe you can take my $32 and work it up your arses."

And I hung up the phone.


@#&**#@!!!! 

I'm sorry I behaved that way, Ms J. But I really cannot bear it when something so apparently simple, is complicated like that. I'm sure Norton has saved a lot of money on wages by contracting their tech support to a third world country. I'm sure their share holders are thrilled. But I'm not impressed. Not at all. Dell has done the same thing with their tech support.

I don't really care where in the world you live, but if your job requires you to speak English, then learn it. Practice it. Speak it. Stop interrogating customers, and work toward helping them solve their problems. This incident happened an hour ago and I'm still angry. It could be I'm the one with the problem. I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

This concludes my rant. Thank you for reading it through.

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