Women cause me pain, lately

Physio really HURT this morning, Ms J. I’ve gained a lot of movement in my ankle and that’s good. I’m pleased. Although I still can’t raise my foot very much on my own, I can see an improvement in the radius of motion both vertical and horizontal. My big toe is very stiff. It’s painful to move it at all. Barbara bent it and twisted it and pulled it until I nearly went wild with pain. I saw no improvement after she’d finished. Just a very painful toe.

Later, Barbara rubbed the scar on my leg. Breaking up the scar tissue, she says, will speed recovery.

“When do you think I’ll be able to go back to work?” I asked her.

She ran her finger along the outside of my lower leg and pressed hard where the fracture was.

“It feels really good now, Dale,” she said. “I can’t feel the separation on the bone anymore. I’m not a doctor, but as far as I’m concerned you can return to work as soon as you get rid of the cast.”

My wish is to return to work next month. Early next month. I have two weeks of vacation time scheduled to begin June 13th. My disability benefits expire on May 28th and I’ll have to wait a fortnight before receiving any money from the government via Unemployment Insurance.

If I can be sure that I won’t re-injure my leg by walking without the cast, I’ll happily return to the early morning slog of GO Transit service. But 4:15 is still an ungodly hour to wake for work.

Meagan called this afternoon. She says her mum will deliver her here on Saturday afternoon. She may stay overnight, but she’s not sure. At any rate, I’m about to see my daughter for the first time since February 5th. That’s more than three months. I’ll bet she’s changed. I know she’s changed.

I feel nervous about seeing her. How can it be that our relationship has changed so much in such a short time? Gone forever I suppose, are the days of holding hands and laughing and splashing together in rain puddles. I love my daughter. I miss my daughter. And I somehow feel she's become a stranger to me.

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