No Dress, Ms J. But a Solid Plan

After church yesterday morning, I was working with Patricia and Colleen, a mother/daughter team who are active in our church. We were tidying up the kitchen after our breakfast communion.

“What do you have planned for this afternoon, Dale?” Pat asked. “Is Meagan visiting you this weekend?”

I told her yes, and that we were hoping to purchase a graduation gown.

“And how’s that going? Any luck?”

I explained that shopping with Meagan was like using a rope to paddle a canoe.

“Would you like me to make a dress for her?” she asked.

I was stunned, Ms J! I know Patricia is a talented seamstress. She’s made a number of items for our church – costumes, etc. But this was too much!

“Are you serious, Pat?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “Meagan and I could plan to spend a few hours together one day. We could go to fabric shops and choose a fabric, and then look at different patterns. We could modify one if she wanted. Or just make the dress exactly as the pattern shows. Whatever she wants. Really, Dale. I don’t mind. I like sewing. And I love making dresses.”

“Mum made my wedding dress,” Colleen said. “And dresses for my bride’s maids too.”

I thanked them and promised to discuss it with Meagan. A burden had been lifted. Pat could make a dress in a week, she said. Or alter a store-bought dress.

Meagan was ready to go when I got home. I was surprised she was so keen to return to the shops. Saturday’s shopping experience was not only unproductive, but at times it was downright miserable. Meagan got very frustrated when she couldn’t simply walk into a store, and buy something she liked right off the rack and right away.

“I hate trying things on, Dad," she said through clenched teeth. "Why does this have to be so hard?”

I was patient with her, though. I surprised myself, quite honestly. I had imagined I’d be more irascible, and that I might offer more suggestions about what to buy in an effort to expedite things. But I was content to follow her around the mall, in and out of stores, up and down the aisles. I helped a little, but mostly I let her lead.

We only visited one shop before Meagan had had enough.

“I’m done,” she declared as she stormed out into the crowded mall. “This is just stupid. I can’t find anything I like. I don’t even want a dress. I guess I won’t bother going to the stupid grad. I never wanted to go in the first place.”

We sat together on a wooden bench and watched the shoppers strolling past. I wanted so much to help her feel better but I didn’t know what to say. I reached out to stroke her hair and she brushed my hand away.

“Don’t, Dad. I’m pissed off right now. This is hopeless.”

“But we’ve only looked in one store, hunny. You have to give it a chance.”

But her mind was made up. Dress shopping was concluded for the day. We sat in an awkward silence for a long time before I spoke again.

“Did you see anything at all that you liked? Today? Or yesterday?”

“No!”

I wanted to touch her so badly, Ms J. I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to hold her hand. I remembered Pat’s offer and I told Meagan about it. She didn’t seem terribly interested.

“Why do I have to have a dress, anyway? I look like a dork in a dress. I feel stupid.”

I explained that all the other girls will be wearing dresses and she interrupted me to insist that she knew of at least two girls who wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress. She named them.

“Remember that outfit we saw yesterday at Le Chateau?” she said. “The one with the white blouse and black tie? And the blazer? ‘Member, Dad?”

I told her yes, I remember it.

“I liked that one. It was like a business suit or something. I think that would look good on me.”

She lowered her head and spoke in a monotone. “But it’s not a dress.”

I turned on the bench to look directly at her.

“Meagan, you don’t have to wear a dress. I just thought you should have a dress because the other girls will have dresses.”

“The other girls look good in dresses, Dad. And I’m not them.”

Things began to make sense again for me. The fog was lifting. Why the hell should she be forced to wear something she doesn’t feel good in? What is the point of all this shopping if she’ll feel foolish and self-conscious in a formal dress?

“Why don’t we go back to Le Chateau, then,” I said firmly, “and get that outfit.”

I looked at my watch. There wasn’t time now. I had to get her back home. I had a rehearsal to attend here in Mimico. And we still hadn’t had dinner.

Her face was bright and her smile wide.

“Do we have time?”

I hated to disappoint her, but we really didn’t have time to drive to another mall. We made plans to meet again next weekend – Saturday, to go back to Le Chateau and buy that little business suit. And maybe a black skirt or slacks. And accessories. Shoes too, maybe.

Remember that character Billy Crystal did years ago on Saturday Night Live?

"When you look good, you feel good. And dah-ling, you look mah-velous!"

My girl will feel good at the graduation ceremony next month because she’ll look good. She’ll look MAH-VELOUS!!

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