Saturday With My Girl

Saturday. My bladder woke me this morning at 4:00. Meagan was still sitting at the computer.

“It’s four o’clock, Scout,” I said. “Bedtime. OK?”

She stopped whatever she was doing, shut off the computer, and went to bed. She’s a good girl, my Meagan.

Last night after supper, we had a long talk. A conversation. We talked about Dan and Maxine.

“They’re never gonna move out, Dad. Dan talks about getting his own place, but I think he’s dreaming. He doesn’t even have a job.”

We talked about Kelly.

“I’m not sayin’ Mum’s a slut, but she has had a lot of guys.”

And we talked about teenage temptations.

“Sure, Dad. I’ve been offered weed. Lots of times. Cigarettes too. I just think thirteen is too young to smoke weed. And I am, like, so against cigarettes. I hate them.”

Things change, Ms Journal. People change. I was against drugs and tobacco when I was her age. But by the time I’d reached 40, I was a heavy smoker addicted to methamphetamine.

“Let me ask you a question, Meagan. I want you to be honest, OK?”

“K, Dad.”

“When the opportunity arises to do something you know is wrong – getting high, stealing something, I don’t know. Fill in the blank. When something like that happens, what stops you from doing the wrong thing? Do you choose not to do it because you know it’s wrong, or are you afraid of what Mum and I will say?”

She was nodding her head, her dyed hair brushing her young cheeks.

“Mostly ‘cuz of Mum. She’d freak right out. You too, Dad. But also because I know it’s wrong.”

I looked at her clear blue eyes surrounded by gobs of dark eye shadow. I believe her, Ms J. I really believe Meagan knows right from wrong. And I believe it matters to her. Next year, she’ll start high school. There, she’ll be challenged by greater peer pressure and by her teenage need to fit in. All I can do is hope and pray. And tell her how I feel.

“If you only hear one thing that I say, Meagan,” I said, taking her hand in mine. “If you remember only one thing I ever tell you, remember this. I love you. You are the most important girl in my world. Your safety, your happiness is all that matters to me.”

My eyes filled and I removed my glasses and wiped my wet cheeks on my sleeve. She dabbed at her eyes with the corner of a tissue.

“Stop crying, Dad! You’re makin’ me cry too, dammit.”

Today, we’re off to the U.S. of A. We’ll drive again to The Boulevard Mall near Buffalo, NY. This time, we’ll actually buy something and take a chance bringing it back across the border. Meagan wants to visit a shop called “Hot Topic”. She hopes to buy a couple of t-shirts. We’ll have supper again at T.G.I. Friday’s. We’ll play her music in the car. We’ll laugh and talk the miles away, there and back.

My girl will be fourteen in June. She has a boyfriend now. Chris. He’s fifteen. I believe we may get round to discussing sex this afternoon, Ms Journal. Meagan has a boyfriend. Sex will be the “Hot Topic” in the car on the way to the border.

See you later!

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