Well That Was Weird

I shared this story with Michelle, our awesome Aussie. Here's what she wrote:

omg....lol, I'd be selective about who you actually told this to! They may be measuring you up for a straight jacket!

I told her I'm a bit embarrassed, Ms J. I'll tell you the story, but I don't want the whole world to know how silly I am.

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I had a nap after work today. It was about 4:00 pm when I got home and I was too tired even to make dinner. Too much activity lately, Ms J. And too little sleep. I went and laid my head on the pillow in Meagan's room and fell asleep. Fast asleep. When I woke up, it was nearly 8:00. I felt rested and refreshed. Ready for a new day.

"I musta been pretty tired," I thought as I stretched and yawned. "I can't believe I slept here all night."

A thin sliver of sunlight struggled through a gap in the window curtains. My stomach rumbled and hunger lead me downstairs. I was famished.

I filled the coffee maker with water and measured out two tablespoons of coffee. The aroma was delightful! While the coffee brewed, I returned upstairs to have a shower, shave, and get ready for church. It was going to be a humid day and so I put on my new black shorts. A bright yellow golf shirt looked good with the shorts and I pulled it over my head. I found some money in a pants pocket and transfered it to a collection envelope.

Downstairs again, I opened the fridge and removed a carton of eggs, a jug of orange juice, and some bacon. The sky was getting darker and I switched on the ceiling light and peered outside.

"Storm's coming," I thought. "Good. I hope it rains all day. We sure need it."

I cooked two strips of bacon first and then fried two eggs in the sputtering grease. I don't know what Heaven smells like, Ms J, but I think it must smell like breakfast. While I waited for the toaster, I poured a cup of coffee and put some milk in it. I took my cup to the dining room and looked out the sliding glass door onto the deck and into the garden beyond. The sky was really getting dark. It was going to be a helluva storm. I decided I'd better take an umbrella with me to church.

When breakfast was over, I put the dishes in the sink and ran some water over them to soak. I'd wash up after church. I went to the front door and slipped my sandals on.

"They'll be alright for church," I muttered. "They were good enough for Jesus. I bet his didn't have Velcro fasteners, though."

I opened the door and stepped outside and I was awe stricken by the darkness. It was eerie, Ms Journal. Spooky. I wondered if the storm might be a severe one. Could a tornado be coming? To the best of my knowledge, Mimico had never seen a tornado. Hurricane Hazel wreaked havoc here in the early '50's, but there hadn't been any really severe weather since then.

"My God!" I thought. "The bloody streetlights are on! I can't believe it's so dark at 9 o'clock in the morning. It looks more like 9 o'clock at night!"

And as I stood there on the front porch, Ms J, with my new black shorts and my bright yellow shirt and my sandals with the Velcro fasteners, ... As I stood there clutching my collection envelope, the Truth slowly began to dawn on me.

It was not Sunday morning. Not yet. It was, in fact, still Saturday. Saturday evening. It looked like 9 o'clock at night, Ms J, because it WAS 9 o'clock at night.

I shook my head and smiled. Then I laughed. I laughed out loud at myself and at the absurdity of it all. Breakfast. Coffee. Morning ablutions. Heading off to church.

As I returned to the safety of my home I imagined myself arriving at church, twelve hours early, and carrying a brolly under starry skies.

Gosh, I'm silly sometimes. Sometimes, Ms J, I crack myself up.

I guess I'll wash those dishes now. And then go back to bed.

Good night.

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