Another Restless Night

Good Morning, Ms Journal. How was your night? Really? Mine was ... long. I have nights like that sometimes. More often lately than in the recent past. I just can't seem to adjust to the spareboard. It's difficult to work a day shift then a night shift. Maybe go to work twice in a day and then have a day off. I'm not eating properly or sleeping regularly. If there was enough work, or few enough guys on the spareboard, it wouldn't be too bad. I could book rest (6 to 24 hours) and know that the crew office would be calling me when my rest period was up. But lately, it hasn't been that predictable. I worked until 8:00 last night and booked 12 hours rest hoping to get out again this morning. I've just checked the spareboard and there are about eight men available for work ahead of me. More will become available as their "rest" expires. I may not work until after dinner this evening. Or I might go to work this afternoon. Or maybe not til early tomorrow morning.

What kind of a Life is that, I ask you? Honestly. I'm too old for this shit.

Only sixty-five months to go.

And the strike continues ... For now.

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On a happier note, I have some good news to report.

Remember that rent money I've been saving? I have decided what to spend it on. After considering a host of options - applying it to my mortgage, paying down my furnace loan, giving it away to striking picketers at work, donating it to charity - I've come upon what I think is the best way to invest that money. I'm going to invest in the future, Ms J, in a young girl's future.

My daughter, Meagan, has been doing well in her first year at high school. She has lots of friends and seems to be enjoying a degree of popularity among both boys and girls. However, she's been spending some time with her troubled brother and his drug-addled friends and I fear she'll follow him down that slimy slope into truancy and drugs. Dan was just about her age (fourteen) when he began to slide. I cannot allow that to happen to my girl. I fear I've lost one child and don't want to lose the other.

Meagan has more self esteem than her brother. She values herself, I pray, more than Dan values himself. I must encourage those feelings in her. I must find ways to show her how important she is to me. So I thought maybe a little road trip might be fun. I’m planning a little holiday for Meagan and myself. March break is coming up soon and I have two weeks vacation that month.

On March 12, we’ll travel by train to Ottawa. VIA is operating normally; conductors there are not on strike. Actually, there are no conductors on VIA trains anymore, Ms J. But that’s another story. We leave on March 12 and return March 14. We’ll be staying at a fancy hotel in Ottawa, not far from the Parliament buildings. Meagan was thrilled when I told her of my plan.



“I’m smilin’ here, Dad,” she said on the phone. “That sounds so nice! Thanks!”

I have a pass that allows free travel on VIA trains. Economy class. I paid two hundred bucks extra to travel first class both ways.

“We’re going first class?!” said Meagan.

“Yup,” I told her. “First class all the way. Fancy hotel, too. We’re gonna do it up right, Scout.”

She was thrilled and, I think, impressed.

“Can we get room service? Can we get ice cream at, like, 3:00 in the morning?”

“If we want to, I guess. If we’re still awake at 3:00 in the morning.”

“Sweet!”

I don’t know what we’ll do there or what we’ll see. But it’s the nation’s capital, for goodness sake. I’m sure we’ll find lots of adventures. Maybe we’ll call on the prime minister. See if he’d like to go for a skate on the Rideau Canal.

I know it's only a couple of days, but it's a chance for us to be together and keep channels of communication open in a fun and relaxing atmosphere.

She loves herself, Ms J. And I love her. So much. It's important, I think, that she knows that.

I don't want to lose that girl.

Dear God, I don't want to lose that girl.

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