It's Happening Again ...

I haven't seen much of my GO girls lately. They're the four women with whom I used to sit on my afternoon train. I met them all about 3 or 4 years ago and we've become friends. We would spend forty minutes every afternoon chatting and bitching and laughing. I really enjoyed that time with them.

But I've been staying on the engine lately to study my new script and the girls have been taking an earlier train. I don't blame them. The 4:13 is late nearly every single day. It's getting bad, and I'm feeling really frustrated. The crew try our best to operate the damn thing on time, but it seems we're the only ones (besides the passengers) who care. Freight trains block our way. Empty commuter trains seem to take precedence of movement over our fully loaded rush hour train. I've complained, but the authorities don't appear to care. I don't understand why this is.

Two weeks ago, the engineer I was working with ran through a red light in Hamilton. He was removed from service immediately. Yesterday, they officially fired him.

This was a good man. A good employee who made a mistake. One mistake in his career. He admitted fault and co-operated fully in the investigation. He had a perfect work record that spanned 19 years. He has a young family. But CN doesn't care. They fired him. All the train crews are saddened and angry. There's a LOT of anger, Ms J. A LOT. I'm afraid someone will do something stupid, like punch our boss in the mouth, or vandalize his car, or ... I don't know. But it's bad at work now. Really bad. I have never seen morale this low. We're afraid for our jobs and we loathe our employer.

Today, I learned I have a new mate. There's a new engineer who'll be working with me every day. A woman. She has NO CLUE what to do. She's dangerous and completely unqualified to operate a GO train. Or any train. She admits this herself. It's terribly unsafe and very nerve-wracking for me to have to work with her. She literally shook as she talked about operating the train into Hamilton this morning.

I took pity on the poor woman and ran the train both directions while she simply observed. The company says she's qualified. I can see she's not competent but I cannot refuse to work with her. I'm afraid she'll make a mistake that might cause both of us to get fired. Or worse ... And believe me, Ms Journal, she shares my concern.

Next week, I'll be working a different train, a train with experienced people who can work safely and efficiently. I'm sorry to abandon poor Deb, but I cannot risk losing my job. I just really need to get away from that assignment for a while. I am angry and short-tempered at work and I'm afraid something bad will happen.

The last time I felt that way, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. This time, I will listen to my feelings.

I could stay on that job and help Deb learn to become more proficient. Maybe I will later, but right now I feel I need to operate a different train, to work a different assignment. I've been working the same schedule for four years now. Maybe The Universe is telling me it's time to move on.

Good Luck, Deb. God help you and the people you work with. The passengers too. Maybe I'll see you in a week or so. Or maybe not.

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