What God Has Joined Together

I went to a wedding on Sunday. Christine and I went together. We're friends, Ms J. I care deeply for her and she wants to have my baby. But I won't go into that here.

Sorry. No pun intended. Christine and I are friends, and we want to remain so. I must tell you though, it's been hard at times. Oh dear. I've done it again, haven't I? I meant ... Well you know very well what I meant.


OMG, Ms J. She's so CUTE! But it'd only end in misery, for both of us. I'm certain of it.

Anyway, we went to the wedding of a friend. Leigh Ann. The wedding is what I want to talk about.

L.A. and Mike are both quite religious. Indeed, they met at church, the same church they were married in. I've known Leigh Ann for nearly as long as I've known Christine. We three performed in a play about five years ago. We've remained friends.

I found an empty pew in the crowded church and Miss Christine snuggled in beside me.

"Do you want some Kleenex, Dale?" she asked offering me a handful of tissues. She knows my heart, that girl.

"OK, Steenie," I said. "I'm fine right now, but you never know ..."

The ceremony was really lovely. It was filled with praise and rejoicing. We sang hymns and prayed. It was like a church service really, but with a wedding in it. That church is the same denomination as mine, Ms J, but what a difference! Such joy! Such enthusiasm! And the music was upbeat. Modern. I quite enjoyed it. And as I listened to the bride and groom take their vows with shaky voices, I thought of my own weddings. I was glad I had the tissues.

The first time was to Kelly. It was the spring of 1985. I was twenty-seven years old and as calm and confident as a man could ever be. I wasn't nervous at all. I was quite at ease, Ms J, convinced I knew it all. Marriage was going to be easy. I'd get my own place and watch TV in the evening after work. My wife would cook and clean. And I'd have all the sex I wanted. (Well that part was true. Kelly was so anxious to have a baby, she nearly wore me out!)

My point is simply this: I was so ignorant, Ms J, and so full of myself that I didn't even consider the importance of what I was doing. There was no room for God in my Life then. It was all about ME. Heck I didn't even love Kelly, although I hoped I might grow to love her. That, as we all know, never happened.

Dad told me years later that he knew it wouldn't work.

"She chased you all around the church, boy. And she caught you by the organ."

Seven years and two children later, the inevitable finally happened and the marriage ended. Within months, I had met Donna and moved in with her. After four years together, we decided to get married.

We had our secular ceremony in Sydney, Nova Scotia at Donna's mum's house. We hired a justice of the peace to marry us. His name was Walter. He had a speech impediment and he sounded like Elmer Fudd.

"Do you, Dale, take this woman to be yo waw-fooey wedded wife, to hono, cha-wish, and ..." Well, you get the idea. It was hilarious. Donna and I mugged for the crowd and made silly comments during the entire ceremony. It was a big joke. No church. No preacher. Just a cartoon character, and two clowns in expensive clothes. We'd made a pact the day before.

"No speed til after the wedding. I want to be straight for the ceremony."

So we went drugfree for a whole day, and couldn't wait to do a line after we'd joked through our vows.

I thought of all of this on Sunday as I watched Leigh Ann and Mike get married. It was very solemn. Bride and groom took very seriously the promises they made. So did the wedding guests.

I wonder if I'd taken marriage more seriously, Ms J, if I had allowed God to be part of it, would I still be married? And to whom?

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