Some People Say the Dumbest Things

Morning, Ms J. Some people really do come up with some doozies, don't they? My sister-in-law once asked the butcher for "about a kilometre" of sausage. The man behind the counter offered her a correction.

"Do you mean a kilogram?" he asked.

Linda furrowed her brow and scratched her head.

"No," she said. "I'm pretty sure it's a kilometre I need."

I don't know for certain how things turned out that day, but I don't recall hearing my brother complain about having to store half a mile of sausage in a small fridge. Linda must have gotten a kilogram instead. About 2.2 pounds.

Yogi Berra was an American baseball player. A catcher. He is without a doubt, the most widely quoted man in baseball. His Yogi-isms are among the dumbest ever spoken. Here are some of his most famous gaffs:

"It ain't over til it's over."

"Never answer an anonymous letter."

"I usually take a two hour nap between 1 and 4."

"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."

"I didn't really say everything I said."

"You can observe a lot by watching."

"You mean now?" in response to being asked what time it is.

"The future ain't what it used to be."

"It gets late early out there."

"Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."

Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical."

And in response to New York mayor John Lindsay's wife complimenting him on appearing cool on a sweltering afternoon: "Thanks. You don't look too hot yourself."

***