HELP!!!

I checked my email before bed on Monday night. It was about 11:00. I found a letter from Meagan. The subject line was "HELP!!!" So I opened it.

Dad, I need you to call my house as soon as you read this!!! I'm having big
trouble with Mom and I want to run away. PLEASE CALL!!! If mom answers say
you want to know if we're still on for this weekend, okay? Thanx, bye.

"Run away?" It was late, Ms J. 11:00. Too late to call? Maybe. But I was concerned about my girl. I checked to see when it was sent. 7:04 pm. Four hours ago. I shrugged my shoulders and reached for the phone. Kelly answered.

"Hi Kelly," I said. "Is everything OK with Meagan ...? For next weekend, I mean."

And for the next ten minutes, I endured Kelly's tales of servitude and self-sacrifice. I suffered through a long dissertation on the importance of "living right", and then I heard about Maxine and how she doesn't want to live in that home for unwed mothers any longer and how Dan is pressuring Kelly to take Maxine back into her home, and about Kelly's ongoing plan to "get her Life together" and about Scott, her estranged husband. I've put asterisks to denote the parts about which I couldn't care less.

"I just don't want her here, Dale.* I don't need the extra aggravation.* My Life is stressful enough with Baby Emily and Dan,* and my sister's a drunk* and I really don't like the way she lives.* And I'm trying really hard to get my Life together, but Scott's having problems with Cindy, his new girlfriend.* She might move back to Ohio.* Poor Scott's heart is broken.* He's still my friend, you know.*** Even though a marriage doesn't work out, it doesn't mean people can't still be friends."**********************

Blah, blah, blah. Oh my word, Ms Journal. The woman can talk all day without ever saying a bloody thing. Her mouth is like a barn door in a wind storm. I managed to insert a word or two amid her barrage of bullshit.

"Is Scout still awake?"

"Meagan?"

"Could I speak with Meagan?"

I asked three or four times before she finally relinquished the phone to my daughter. I wish I could find the courage to tell Kelly that I just don't care to hear about her pathetic Life. If it doesn't directly affect Daniel or Meagan, I don't want to hear about it. But she'd get angry and fight with me, and then she'd run crying to Dan and Scout telling them how cruel and apathetic their father is. So I put up with it.

And finally, "Hello?"

It was Meagan's voice.

"I've got it, Mum. Hang up please."

Kelly had to show me again what an exemplary parent she is.

"OK, Sweetie."

Her saccharine voice was dripping with sticky sanctimony.

"Daddy wants to ask you about the weekend. He really wants to spend some time with you. But don't forget about Scott's party on Saturday. I love you, honey. Bye."

You know, Ms Journal, every word that woman speaks is painful for me to listen to. I literally wince as her words come to me. "Let it go," I tell myself. "Just let it go."

"Hi Scout," I said when I was sure Kelly had gone. "What's going on? Are you alright?"

"Fine, Dad. Why?"

I began to explain about the email she'd sent earlier, but she interrupted me.

"Oh that. No, I was fighting with Mum, that's all. Well, she was fighting with me. Whatever. It's all good now, Dad. No worries."

Jeez. I guess in the Life of a teenage girl, crises occur along with great drama and dire predictions. But the situation, it seems, is quickly brought under control. Flare-ups. A bright flash of fire and then peace is again restored.

It's all good now, Dad. No worries.

I shook my head. So much drama. I hope she's not becoming like her mother that way. I moved the conversation along.

"What about the weekend, Scout?" I asked. "Can I pick you up on Friday? Mum said something about a party. What party?"

"Oh that. Well Scotty's having a Hallowe'en party at his house on Saturday night so I'll be sleeping over on Saturday. At his house. I prob'ly won't be home til Sunday afternoon. But we could have dinner or something if you want. On Sunday."

I felt a twinge of jealousy. OK, more than a twinge, actually. It hurts that Meagan wants to spend time with her step dad. I know it's wrong to feel that way, Ms J. But I do. I feel jealous of Scott. The guy is Kelly's ex, for goodness sake. Why doesn't he just quietly disappear into the sunset?

I know why. He loves my kids. That's why. He lived with them for nearly ten years. Is it wrong to have more people who love my kids? Of course not. I know that. But it still bugs me that Scott is involved in Meagan's Life.

Those are not really my feelings. Those are the feelings of the frightened, insecure Dad who lives inside me. I still love that frightened Dad, but he frustrates me sometimes.

I'm collecting my daughter on Sunday afternoon at 4:00. We're going to a nice restaurant for dinner.

***