He's home again

Kelly called this afternoon. Dan's home from the rehab facility. He's back with his mother and his sister, Meagan and half-sister, Emily. Kelly seemed pleased.

"He looks great, Dale. His skin is smooth and without acne. His eyes are clear. His smile is genuine. We've got our boy back."

Yeah, right. For now, I thought. I don't feel quite so optimistic, Ms J. I can't bring myself to believe that six days in a rehabilitation centre will give me "my boy back." I listened to Kelly gush about he'd changed and how she had changed too, and about how it would all be different now. I listened, Ms Journal, but I was skeptical. I remain skeptical.

"I go to church now, Dale. Dan said he might go with me. I wish I could get Meagan to go too, but she's so stubborn. When Dan gets down, I say 'Look up, Dan. Just look up to Jesus and He'll help you.' That's what I tell him, Dale. Well, I haven't told him that yet. But I will. When he gets down, you know?" And she prattled on.

It's funny you know, Ms J. Have you ever noticed how your lips can say one thing while at the same time, your mind is saying something quite disparate?

While my lips were saying, "Really, Kelly. Well that sounds good. That sounds really good", my mind was saying just one word: "Bullshit." Repeatedly.

I've heard it all before. Kelly, I mean. I'm tired of her transparent attempts to gain my approval. She's made a mess of the boy's Life. She's made a mess of her own Life. And there, I'm afraid, but for the grace of God, will go Meagan. Hell, maybe it's a good thing that Meagan is so headstrong and hostile right now. If she moves in the opposite direction to her mother, she just may have a chance at happiness.

Kelly probably intends to go to church. Maybe she sees how I've been helped through difficult times by my involvement with church. It's not for everyone, I'll admit. But it has helped me. Maybe she sees that. But I don't believe for one minute that my ex-wife will make a habit of attending church. Any church. She has good intentions. Maybe she should follow the road which is paved that way.

She "says" lots of things, Ms J. She makes lots of promises. But she rarely, if ever, follows through. I feel sorry for Dan and Meagan. Their mother has broken hundreds of promises over the years.

• If you pass your exams, I'll get you a new bike.
• Lend me the money from your bank account. I'll pay you back.
• Mummy is going to get a job. Then we'll have more money.
• We'll get the cable hooked up to the TV in your room. Then you'll be all set.
• You get started. Mummy will be out in a minute to help you ...
• Watch the baby for an hour, Meagan. I'll give you five dollars.
• I'm going to quit smoking (next week, next year, when Dan comes home, if Scott quits.)

About six years ago, I opened bank accounts for both Dan and Scout. I put $100. in each and I spoke to the kids about saving their money. I suggested they might deposit birthday money, etc., and promised that when they had saved another hundred dollars, I'd double it for them. In less than six months, all their money had been withdrawn. I asked them what happened.

"Mum needed it. She had no money for groceries. Don't worry, Dad. She said she'll pay us back when she gets her cheque from the government."

Today, both accounts remain dormant. And empty.

But Dan is home, and I guess that's good news. I hope you'll forgive me, Ms Journal, if I don't celebrate too hard just yet.