Yesterday. And today.

August 1, 2004



Sunday. New week. New month. Good-bye July. See you next year!

I didn’t feel like going to church this morning. I sat around here and had breakfast and drank copious amounts of coffee. Read the script again. The script? Caught In The Net. Auditions are this month in Caledon. Maybe I’ll be off book for the audition. Bet that doesn’t happen often. LOL! Did some laundry. Pretty boring morning, actually. I called Andra but she wasn’t home. I called Mom and Dad but they weren’t home either. I got an email from Cathy. She’s one of my GO girls. I scanned some photos of Cathy and her beau that I took at my birthday barbecue last Saturday, and sent them to her yesterday.

thanks for the pics Dale........ it will be good to see everyone on Tues !
that train accident on Fri evening where they hit a pedestrian - that wasn't your train was it ? God I hope not... Rose and I heard it on the radio and we were trying to figure out and hoping it wasn't your train.....

If you have nothing planned for today - why don’t you drop in and bring your shorts and join us on patio beach !!

give me a call if you like ..........

thanks again for the pics

Cathy
:)


So I called her and drove out to Oakville to spend the afternoon with Cathy and her sister, Rose. I took a salad and some fresh corn for dinner. DJ arrived later and bbq’d some steaks. We ate til we were stuffed.

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I took my leave of them around 9:00 and drove to Acton. I had to have a talk with my boy.

Dan answered the door when I knocked. I wanted to hug him, hold him, as soon as I saw him. But instead I said hello as coolly as I could.

“You’re kinda late,” Dan said rather tentatively. “We were just relaxing here. Having a quiet evening.” His eyes never met mine. He was nervous and unsure of what to expect. He knew I was angry for his recent behaviour.

I entered his mother’s home and found her sitting on the couch with Tim. Baby Emily played on a blanket on the floor. I came immediately to the point.

“What do you think we should do, Kel’?” I asked. “Should I take him out and speak with him privately or do you want to have some input in the discussion? Quite honestly, I think this involves Tim as well. He should be included.”

Kelly smiled nervously.

“Well, we were just er … relaxing, you know? Winding down for the evening. We didn’t really expect you’d call tonight.”

Dan walked around me and sat in the big arm chair. I remained standing.

“Everything’s pretty good now,” she continued. “Do you want something to drink?”

“No. Thank you. I’ve come to talk with The Boy. I want to do that.”

And so it began. I told Dan I would not, COULD NOT countenance his aggressive and violent behaviour. I told him he’d better learn somehow to keep his temper in check or he’d surely “come to a bad end.”

Kelly offered her thoughts and described her feelings. Tim too, added his opinion, which was more than welcome and quite appropriate given the fact that Dan had been disrespectful of the woman Tim loves.

I told Dan I’m sick to death of his lies and his empty promises. I know he’s struggling right now. I know it’s hard to find a job. I know it’s a daunting prospect. But he’s got to try. At least try. I suggested that if he’d like to live with me, he might more easily find employment. (Toronto’s a big city. Acton is a culturally and economically depressed little pimple of a town on the arse of Halton Region.) But The Boy seemed averse to relocating.

He’ll be eighteen years old next month. He hasn’t finished high school yet. He has no plan whatsoever for the future. I believe that if he found a job, he’d be a much happier young man. He’d have a purpose to his Life. Direction. Motivation. His mother agrees. So does Tim.

It was nearly 11:00 when I left to come home. I hugged my son at the door. I hugged him for a long time. Gosh, he’s big! Tall. Strong. He held me snuggly and rubbed my back. He smelled of shampoo.

“I love you, Daniel,” I said.

“I love you too, Dad.”

“My wish for you, Dan, is that you might come to love yourself as much as I love you.”

I pray those words find their way to his heart.




August 2, 2004



Monday. Holiday Monday. No work today. The trains will operate on a Saturday schedule. It’s a civic holiday. No reason for it, really. There’s nothing to celebrate, other than the fact that we don’t have to work today. Nearly everyone gets to enjoy a long weekend.

It’s been a muggy day here in Mimico. Disgustingly hot and humid. 30C. The humidex makes it feel like 39C. So says Environment Canada. I went out to do some yard work this afternoon and nearly perished in the heat. I pulled weeds and generally surveyed my domain for an hour or more until I could bear it no longer. My shirt was soaked with sweat. Even my glasses were steaming over. I came in the house, and went straight upstairs to shower. I let the water run as cool as I could stand it. When I finished, I dried off a little then stood naked in front of the fan for ten minutes. Golly that felt good!

I wear glasses now, Ms J. They’re drugstore glasses. I call them my cheaters. Soon – very soon, I’ll have to see an optometrist and get a prescription for proper glasses. I’ve put it off as long as possible. But honestly, what’s the difference whether I wear cheap, ill-fitting drugstore glasses or good quality, prescription glasses? If I must wear them, why not get a pair that fit? And that feel comfortable. My employee benefits cover up to $150 of the cost of glasses.

Meagan’s gone to camp. Kelly took her yesterday afternoon to Teen Ranch in the rolling hills of Caledon. The camp is midway between Caledon and Orangeville, about an hour north-west of her home in Acton. My little girl gets a week at camp while her brother gets reprimanded and ragged on. The poor guy really needs to get away from the television and get himself a job. He’d be happier and so would his mom. I just want the boy to grow. I want him to become a man, in every sense of the word.

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I barbecued some hamburgers for dinner tonight. It was delicious! I had fresh salad and corn on the cob too. Mmmmm!! Tastes like summer!

It’s still pretty warm upstairs here. I’ll turn on the ceiling fan in the bedroom and point the other fan toward the bed. Better put my toes up, as Dad would say. I’ll be up, as usual, at 4:15 for work.
Good night.