Broken Bones, Hearts, Promises
It's 8:30 am. and I'm waiting for my friend Cyril to come fetch me. Cy works downtown and he's agreed to drop me off at St. Joe's on his way. Today, I believe the doctor plans to remove my cast (again) and then take the stitches out. I have a lot of stitches, Ms J. The incision runs up my shin from my foot, nearly to my knee. And it's still pretty tender. I hope I get a more permanent cast this time. Jenn recommends fibreglass. It's lighter, she says. And I don't have to worry about getting it wet in the shower.
Dan has an appointment with a doctor at St. Joseph's as well today. But it's later. 3:15. Tomorrow, he has an appointment with his (our) social worker. We like Marsha. She's the one from NYC. Very nice. I'm looking forward to that meeting.
The tension has been quite palpable here lately. Dan and I have argued and quarelled nearly every day for three days. He says he feels trapped. He resents having to look after me. Every task is too much to bear for him. And he hates that I worry about him whenever he goes out.
"I can't have any fun, Dad."
Well here's a news flash for you, son. NEITHER CAN I.
I don't like this teenaged boy. I love him of course. I will always love him. But right now, I don't like him. I'm here, stuck in a chair, unable to fend for myself, in pain and worrying about Dan when he goes to visit a "friend" who has supplied him with drugs, and I'm "a fucking dick."
I feel trapped too, Dan. My leg is broken. My heart is broken. Meagan says she won't come to visit me unless I write a letter of apology to her and her mum and make "amense" for all the times I was mean to her mum. It's been seventeen days since I last spoke to Meagan. I ache to feel her arms around me. But I'm afraid it'll be a frosty Friday in Hell when I offer an apology to that disgusting excuse for a human being that is my ex-wife. I want a relationship with my kids. I want nothing from Kelly. Nothing. I have explained that to Dan. He can take it to his mother and sister this weekend.
I've had it with all of them. I'm going up to my parents place on Thursday morning. Dan is going back to Acton for a week. I'm looking forward to it. I'm REALLY looking forward to it.
Mused by Dale @ 8:32 am
At 22 February 2005 at 10:15, 
Anvilcloud said...
At 23 February 2005 at 01:47, Michelle said...
At 23 February 2005 at 09:24, gemmak said...
At 25 February 2005 at 08:49, Larry said...
At 26 February 2005 at 10:19, magz said...
5 Comments:
You and Meagan seems to be at a standoff. She won't see you unless you apologize, and you won't apologize. Once you have had your weekend away, why don't you set up a discussion meeting with Meagan, not a visit, just a meeting on neutral territory to talk things out? Just a warning, you may have to bend if you want a relationship with your daughter. Some families have ruined relationships and not spoken for years over pride and everybody's desire to be right. Somebody may have to take the high ground and do whatever is necessary for healing to begin. Some pronciples are not worth fighting for. As I said before, as co-parents, you and Kelly have a relationship by definition, and you can't pretend otherwise.
LOL@JV!
Dale, hope you have a peaceful 5 days...let all the stress go and concentrate on YOU :)
Have a nice time away Dale and make the most of the peace and Dan free time, look after you for a few days :o)
I have to agree tho with tose before me that say if you want a relationship with your daughter you may have to swallow your pride, she is more important than whatever you have to do to maintain the relationship and YOU know your apology is not meant so that's all that matters. Take care my friend *hugs*
Hey Dale, It's Friday morning and I popping in to say 'Hi' Hope all is going well at your end this week. I KNOW how you are feeling with Meagan, I'm kinda in a standoff with Cara......I think I will try and talk to her and Natasha this week....enough is enough....
So......I hope you are doing!!!! Dennis was at the play last night and I told him what happened to you...He sends his best wishes to you....I wish you could get up to see the play....
Take care and I will talk to you later!!!!
hi sweetie! i know it hurts to hang at the desk for long.. but we worry boutcha when we dont hear from you.
for your entertainment, may i present a photo tutorial on how to doctor a wounded kness on my blog, scroll down a bit, i've had a bad case of blog-ariehha last couple days.. and write, post or call, ok?
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